Date: Wed, 27 Jun 2001 16:25:12 -0400 (EDT)
From: COOONTANG 
To: linux lewis 
Cc: a hot poker being shoved up someone's nose 
Subject: ATTENTION FOREST CITIZEN!



HEY MUSKRAT.  IT IS I, ERSTWHILE RACOOON, COME TO SPEAK TO YOU AGAIN.
WITH MY MOUTH!  I PROMISE IT'S CLEAN!  I WASHED IT IN THE POND AFTER SHE
LEFT!  ANYHOW, I JUST WANTED TO LET YOU KNOW THAT MIKE THE PELICAN AND I
HAD AN ELECTION ON MONDAY, AND WE VOTED THAT YOUR PLACE IS THE NEW HANGOUT
DU JOUR, AS THE FROGS SAY!  AT LEAST SOMETIMES.  JUST YOU KNOW, SOME
POKER, WORK OUT THE PS2 A LITTLE, THAT SORT OF THING.  WE KNOW YOU HAVE
THE LADIES STREAMING IN AND OUT OF THERE FOUR OR FIVE A NIGHT, BUT WE
PROMISE NOT TO CRAMP YOUR STYLE TOO BAD.  WE'RE DISCREET!  WE'LL EVEN WEAR
CLOTHES!  HELL, WE'LL RUN AIR TRAFFIC CONTROL FOR YOU.  LIKE SAY AN UGLY
CHICK COMES UP TO THE DOOR, WE'LL GO OUT THERE WITH THE RED FLASHLIGHTS
AND RUN INTERFERENCE FOR YA!  "NEGATIVE, NEGATIVE.  THE PATTERN IS FULL.
REPEAT, THE PATTERN IS FULL."  THEN WE'LL KICK HER DOWN THE STAIRS.  HOW'S
THURSDAY?


------------------------------------------------------------------------

Date: Tue, 22 May 2001 15:41:47 -0400 (EDT)
From: leroy king 
To: a tiny blue penguin 
Subject: aaah



okay, so i have to pee.  fine.  i go in the bathroom here.  i always use
the stalls - just whipping it out in public isn't really my style, and
urinals count as public.  there's five stalls.  

---------------------------------------------------------------
    urinals        |            |       |      |      |      |
                   |            |       |      |      |      | 
                   |     A      |   B   |   C  |   D  |   E  |
                   |            |       |      |      |      |
 scale             |            |_______|______|______|______|
                   |____________|


\
 \ door
                      sinks & paper towels
_______________________________________________________________


all else being equal i prefer the far end, E.  today as i come in there's
somebody in C.  fine, i can deal with that all right.  toss-up between A
and E so i go with E.  walk on in, close door, unzip.  somebody else comes
in the bathroom.  damn, i hate when it's crowded.  a lot of the time if
there's anybody at all i just sneak out again and wait.  neurotic, but
it's my life.  so, anyway, guess which stall this guy picks?  you can
probably see this coming.  that's right, D.  starts knocking around in
there happy as a clam, dropping his pants and practically stepping on my
feet.  i immediately flush and bail out.  what the hell is wrong with
some people?


i still have to pee.



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