From: l king <lking [at] hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject: bacon.


i am cooking bacon.  for dinner.  only bacon.  an entire package of bacon.
i'm going to eat it.  

-- 



From: l king <lking [at] hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject: Re: bacon.


J Dubach <dubach [at] dcepea.harvard.edu> wrote:

: How big a package?

i think it was about eighteen or twenty slices.

: Are you frying it?  How easy is this?

it sucked.  i couldn't do it.  there's a reason that bacon is doled out at
breakfast like a treat, one or two slices at a time, rather than as a
whole course.  after nine slices i wasn't full but i started to feel my
heart beating more slowly.  i gave up, ran some water over my grease burns
and tried to wash the pan.  now, oven mitts give you this sense of
invincibility, right?  so i'm holding this incredibly hot frying pan with
our house oven mitt, mister hand.  i run it under the faucet.  at first
the water just boils off. then, after a second, it becomes superheated,
runs down the pot handle and soaks through mister hand onto my skin.  at
this point mister hand needs to come off, only like an idiot i'm holding
this ridiculously hot frying pan with that hand.  ow.  i gave up and 
just went to bed.

-- 



From: l king <lking [at] hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject: Re: bacon.


J Dubach <dubach [at] dcepea.harvard.edu> wrote:

: That's a lot.  I'd probably make half that my target.  When I
: reheat frozen meatballs (in the oven, but they're pre-cooked), 10 is
: usually plenty.

it appears that you're right.  i wasn't thinking about 'plenty', though. 
i was thinking about 'eating the whole package'.  it's just one of those
elemental challenges, and i had to take what the refrigerator threw at me.

: I had assumed "cooking difficulty rating", but apparently, there's
: also a "extreme composition" factor.  

cooking difficulty?  all you have to do is throw them in hot grease and
wait for them to shrink and turn brown.  if only dating were that easy.

: Presumably, you at least put the bacon in between paper towels and
: squeezed out as much of the grease as possible.  

we're out of paper towels.

: Otherwise, that's a high grease-to-food ratio.

yes it is.

: Coooool.  I'm guessing this was with a sense of "cardiac distress"
: rather than a sense of "pleasent contentment".

yes it was.

: Wouldn't have thought so, having just been burned repeatedly with
: grease for a while.  

keep in mind that dave had 'rocky IV' on TV in the other room.

: Last night, I went to bed at midnight, and couldn't get to sleep for
: four hours.  At three hours in, I had run out of plausible theories as
: to why I couldn't fall asleep (bathroom again?  bed too soft, try
: floor?  sleeping wrong direction on bed?  can't successfully unfocus
: brain?), so I thought, maybe it's because I didn't eat "dinner", got
: up, and opened and ate most of a can of room-temperature chili.  Then
: went back to bed, elapsed time ten minutes.  Worth a shot.

try bacon.

-- 



From: l king <lking [at] hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject: Re: bacon.


J Dubach <dubach [at] dcepea.harvard.edu> wrote:
: l king <lking [at] hcs.harvard.edu> writes:

:> we're out of paper towels.

: Get some.  But toilet paper would work too, I think.

we were out of toliet paper also.  

-- 



From: l king <lking [at] hcs.harvard.edu>
Subject: Re: bacon.


J Dubach <dubach [at] dcepea.harvard.edu> wrote:

: Kleenex?  Thesis paper?  A sock (preferably clean)?

hey, there was nothing made of paper in the kitchen, so i just sucked it
up and ate the bacon.  okay?  i paid my dues in cholesterol poisoning, i
dont need all this back-seat bacon eating going on in addition to that.  
and thesis paper?  me?  are you kidding?  well, i mean, obviously you're
kidding, that's what this is all about, but a thesis in the kitchen would
put chloe off her appetite and then we'd have these thousands of dollars
of groceries sitting around the house with nobody to wolf them down and
then claim to have paid for them and get their rent reduced to eight
dollars.  remember i told you this: LESBIANS: HELL ON THE FOOD BILLS.

-- 







[ : trouserarousal : ]